GraceinUganda's Xanga

A Change of Blog

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:59:37 GMT

I've pretty much had it with Xanga so am switching blog sites!! To read about and hopefully see pictures of the current events in my life (some exciting, some not so exciting) tune in to http://bridgerandsanyu.blogspot.com/ I know, pretty lame address but i couldn't think of anything else right off the top of my head like that and it refused my first idea. Bridger and Sanyu said that they didn't mind so it is used with their permission.

Goodbye Xanga!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 06:50:44 GMT

I've figured out what's wrong with Xanga. It won't let me write a post ahead of time, then copy and paste it in. So for each entry it wants me to sit and type it all in. I always write my posts at home, then come to the office and copy them onto the blog but for some reason Xanga has deamed this unexceptable. I don't have time to sit here in the office typing in my posts (I'm, um, supposed to be working when I'm at work!)! So until I get this little problem resolved there will not be any long or interesting posts from me. If I can't get it resloved then I may need to switch over to blogspot.

My parents arrive tonight. I am happy!

Friday, May 30, 2008

Fri, 30 May 2008 08:27:56 GMT

Xanga has not been kind to me this last month, hence the absence of any new posts! Seriously, I have tried and tried to update it but to no avail. Then after wasting so much time I sort of just gave up. So this is really just a trial to see if I can get it to work again.

My parents come next Wednesday!! I can hardly wait!
Our court ruling over Ella's Legal Guardianship is over and done with. It turned out even better than I'd hoped for and was done QUICKLY! Praise God!!
Ella herself is like a totally different person than two or even one month ago. She is a confident, happy child who talks ALL THE TIME and plays happily with her toys now without me. An easier child to parent I think would be hard to find.

Things have been going so well with Ella that now I am starting to worry. She has been almost TOO happy and I am not wondering if it's just a front that she learned at the babies home to get attention. At first I was really encouraged with this happy personality and behaviour but some warning bells have been going off lately, especially in the last week or so. Normal 3 year old's let themselves cry a lot more than Ella, especially when they're hurt, and she simply doesn't. She'll crack her head on a table, her eyes will fill with tears, her lip will quiver and she'll hug me and say, "I'm not hurt, I'm not crying". Just a little odd, don't you think? So I've been encouraging her to cry more (well, telling her it's okay to cry - not intentionally trying to get her to do it!) so this week we have had a lot more crying going on. But then it feels wierd to be rewarding my kid for crying and an ususually happy child that doesn't cry at all is much easier to be around than one that is sad and crying all the time. So?? My mom will be here next week and will help me figure these things out!!!

I'm gonna see if this will post...

Friday, April 25, 2008

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 08:46:49 GMT

Since when did I become a pooping coach, I found myself asking the other day while encouraging Ella along with her stinky bodily functions. Oh yah, when I became the mother of a three year old… I have never talked so much about pooping in my entire life. Its gross and I can’t wait until she’s figured out that bodily functions aren’t something to necessarily be proud of or discuss as a main topic of conversation. And when she doesn’t need encouragement to do it.

Notes of interest during the last week:

Our court hearing was postponed until next Tuesday (29^th). The judge had a conference or something and I got a call about it Tuesday morning – as Prossy, Ella and I were half way to Kampala! Ella and I were in our fancy duds and everything.

Ella broke out in mysterious bumps all over her arms, some on her legs, and some on her back and between her bellybutton and crotch, Sunday. Strange. Thoughts are that it could be a reaction from one of the following. 1) The new lotion I was putting on her last week 2) The blended onions in the incredibly spicy soup that I’d just shoveled down her little throat (forgot to taste it first! Whoops!) 3) A reaction to a silver bracelet that she’d just put on before her nap and 4) fleas. Thus far I’m thinking it might be a reaction from the bracelet or the onions. The lotion was put on a week before and why would fleas only bite a kid on the arms, lower legs and a band around her torso? But I nor anyone else really has a clue. Maybe it’s not a bad thing that the judge postponed our hearing! Hate to present my kid to her looking like a bumpy little frog.

Sanyu has started BARKING at people and things, rather than just letting Bridger do it or running and hiding on the porch. This is a big milestone in the life of a little watch/guard dog!!

Tuesday Bridger almost attacked the security guard who was filling in for Charles, who is our normal one who the dogs really like. The hapless victim made the mistake of taking a swing at little Bridgy with his rifle –not a smart thing to do. Bridger had his teeth bared snarling, his hair up and was really going for the poor guy with his newly barking deputy bravely behind him encouraging him on, while the guy held him off with his gun. I rescued Bridger and the frightened security guard before Bridge got shot or bit the poor guy.

Got the terrible and rather upsetting news last Friday that my supervisor and his family are leaving for good in June. I really respect and trust these people and he is just the best supervisor a person could ever have. He and his wife are a huge part of the reason that Ella and I are together here still working with this organization and his wife has been SO helpful since I’ve brought Ella home. Work wise that leaves me and Prossy the only ones left in Language Programs here in Uganda (Prossy in Literacy admin and Grace in Translation admin). Frightening thought! This is NOT cool. More work and responsibility for Grace, as well as being forced to work with people in TZ who don’t like her. Prossy will at least be able to keep her supervisor, whose in the US, but still working by email. I don’t mind the extra work but I really don’t care for such a large amount of responsibility.

I started working at the office again, a couple mornings a week without Ella. I’ve been doing some work at home and going into the office around three or four times a week to answer email work related questions but now it looks like I’ll need to start going in more regularly, two mornings a week. Ella simply did great staying with Sarah Wednesday. I was able to go in and work all morning while she stayed home and “helped” Sarah work. I needed to go in for a few hours in the afternoon, after her nap, and she sat quietly on my lap for an ENTIRE hour while my supervisor and I were finishing up some work together. She wasn’t too distracting and amused herself by kissing me and inspecting all of the bumps on her arms and legs. Hey, what ever works for yah I guess!

Ella told me that she wanted to drive the car. Isn’t she a little young for that? I mean, she’s only three and it’s starting already??

Last Friday we went swimming with our friends and I taught Ella how to heckle people. She’s great! We offered lots of loud, obnoxious encouragement to our two 12 and 13 year old friends who were trying to work up the courage to jump off a high dive. Sadly, Ella and I reminded me of my mother at a Fourth of July parade… I was told that Ella was more like me than I thought and that we were almost embarrassing!!

While in the office talking to Lydia, Ella dropped to all fours and began crawling around, exclaiming that she was Bridger…. Yup. No doubt about who her mother is! It’s almost frightening. I mean, it’s only taken me six weeks to make this child almost as weird as I am! Poor little thing… ;)

While in Kampala yesterday I found out that my drivers license expires today. Oops. Also found out that my bodas insurance ran out last October. Double oops!

Thursday visited the Mildmay Centre which is a huge hospital that treats HIV/AIDs patients. I was VERY impressed with the comprehensiveness of the work and the facilities. It is funded mainly by the American and UK governments and it was VERY nice to see American tax dollars actually doing some good somewhere and poor people benefiting from it. The ARV’s and all the medical and counseling services offered are free and very well managed. Services are actually getting to the people that need them!

Ella likes Ethiopian food but it makes her fart…

Ella’s starting to spit out fairly long, grammatically correct sentences. She still does a lot of repeating (which gets really annoying), and will repeat the same thing over and over again (“Bridger is outside? Bridger is outside. Sanyu is sleeping? Sanyu is sleeping. TV on? Uncle Gift at the office?” and on and on) but will also say some really long sentences that come from her head and not from me.

FAVORITE SENTENCE OF THE WEEK: “Don’t eat my underwear, Sanyu. They’re icky!”

Context: We always have a spare pair of Ella underwear in the car so as we were driving home from the airport Ella, the dogs and the underwear were in the backseat together and, um, well, Sanyu will pretty much chew on anything she can!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:41:10 GMT

Whew, another week gone by. Ella and I laid low this week and didn’t do anything too terribly exciting. I have been convicted about the little amount of real attention that I give her – I’m with her all the time but more often then not focused on a book, working on my computer or something else and not really paying attention to her. I hope that my maternity leave isn’t being wasted with me just reading books and dragging my kid along to fun activities (to keep her mom happy!) rather than focusing on playing with and attaching to my child. At this point I’d say that Ella is doing great despite her crappy mother though. She still gets easily overwhelmed and it’s sometimes easy to miss because she’s so easy and good natured. I’ve been reminded several times this week that she still is a very needy little child and that I need to take it a little easier on her. I can not believe that it’s only been 5 ½ weeks since she’s been home! I’ve really been expecting too much of her, poor kid.

I took her to the Tuesday market this week, for the first time. I’ve taken her several times to the Saturday market, which is much more calm and low key. As we were walking to the market on Tuesday and she was practically stopped in awe and wonder at all the “sights” in Kitoro, I realized that I had never actually walked her through town before! We usually drive everywhere, get out of our car and then go in a shop. So here is a three year old who is totally overwhelmed with something as simple as walking through town. She was so cute though, once I could get her to move and keep her from getting run over. I bought a bag of fish for the dogs and since she loves to “heyup” (seriously, she sounds like she’s from the South!) I let her carry the bag. It wasn’t heavy but it was big and awkward and she struggled with it the whole time but insisted on carrying it “for my dogs.” It’s all about the dogs…. J

Wednesday Bridger, Sanyu, Kathryn, Diana, Ella and I all went for a walk. This is the first time I’d taken her on a walk, too! Kathryn took her and Sanyu on a short one last week but this was the first time that I’d taken her. Kathryn and I took turns walking her and Bridger. I am truly AMAZED at this child. 5 ½ weeks ago she had never been near ANY animals of ANY kind and was terrified of them – Wednesday she was trotting along in the midst of her two dogs and we even stopped and petted a huge billy goat! The neighbors a few houses down have a small herd of really nice goats that they picket out in a lot beside our compound. When they let them loose to wander a bit one of the big boys always accompanies them so our short conversations always center around my dogs and his goats. So Ella got to pet the big brown, hairy neighbor billy and he didn’t even stink! Thursday Ella the dogs and I went for a short walk on our own, which actually turned out better then I expected. I have misplaced Bridger’s choker chain and I haven’t trained Sanyu to heel yet but they both did fine with minimal lunging. We didn’t take a very long walk but Ella had to stop twice to hug and kiss her dogs. As if we don’t draw enough looks, a little Ugandan in pink hugging and kissing her dogs sure does! Generally Ugandans are rather afraid of dogs and I’ve never seen them hugging or kissing them, that’s for sure.

Sanyu got the rest of her vaccinations yesterday and all pets got dewormed today. So the next time Sanyu will need to see a vet is in July or August for “The Big Surgery”. It’s a good feeling to have all the dogs and the cat fully vaccinated with their little vaccination cards filled out J. I’m taking care of my family!

Ella and I have a court date next Tuesday the 22^nd regarding her Legal Guardianship. Please pray about this and that the Lord’s will is done and that I can accept His will, whatever it may be. One of the worst things that could happen is that she wouldn’t be able to leave the country before the adoption is complete (in three years) and I couldn’t take my furlough next year. That would really bum me out. I really don’t want to serve a six year term without visiting the States at all!

And now for some pics...

Yes, that would be my happy child with the dog sitting on her head...

YOU try explaining to her that she is not a dog! Because I've tried!

Ella playing with a puzzle that her Granny sent her

Ella drinking cocoa out of her little cup that her Granny also sent her

The Boy sleeping in his chair with his tongue sticking out!! Cracked me up.

Ella did learn how to do a summersault this week, after I SHOWED her, so I guess I'm not a complete failure as a mother yet... ;)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 07:31:46 GMT

Had a great time with friends this weekend. My friend Tanya from Juba was down and a friend of hers, Shannon, from Alberta was also here too. We had so much fun! Tanya came Thursday afternoon and Shannon came Friday morning. They both left Sunday morning so the stay was short but sweet. We had fun!

Upon her arrival from Southern Sudan, our Spronk was a bit cold so we bundled her up in our rocking chair and Ella rocked her almost to sleep!

Friday morning we picked Shannon up from the airport, then we all headed into Kampala with my neighbor Kathryn for some shopping and Ethiopian food. We met another family and had lunch with them – the more the merrier! Amazingly, Shannon stayed awake the entire day and was even coherent! Them Albertans are tough. We did avoid down town Kampala where the taxi drivers were having major riots and clashes with the police because Shannon wasn’t having trouble staying awake so we didn’t need to J.

Enjoying a meal at the Ethiopian restaurant

Ella did pretty well although she doesn’t like Ethiopian food. I’ve been priding myself on what a big eater she is, then when we get in with a large group of people she won’t eat anything. Rather than fight with her I figured it wouldn’t hurt her to miss a meal so didn’t force the issue. Plus, I was more than happy to eat her share!!

Saturday we all piled into the car and took a day trip to Jinja. Wahoo!! Like typical North Americans we pretty much ate the whole way there and back. It was SO good to be out with adults again! It took about 3 ½ hours to get to Jinja, thanks to the Kampala traffic and we didn’t leave until 11am, so we got to Jinja and had lunch at the one and only Mexican restaurant in Uganda. Yum!!

Shannon, Ella and Grace, hogging out on Mexican food J

Mexican food went over much better with L then Ethiopian food did. Bless her simple little heart, she’s just happy with rice and beans!

After a scrumptious meal we then headed to down to see the Source of the Nile River

This here is a picture Ella’s friend “Shannana” and her “Aunt Spronkie” (or “Tonk” or “Konk” – had to work on the Spronk a bit… ) hanging on a sign being tourists. We are good tourists, let me tell yah!

The two Albertans holding the American child, beside the Nile River

The famed tour guide as she shares some interesting tidbit of information about the Source of the Nile with her enwrapped (or entrapped?) audience

Another shot of the famed tour guide and her obviously American child, plopped down beside the River Nile where it emerges from Lake Victoria

Being as we were totally trying to be tourists, we did something that I have never done in Jinja before – we took a boat ride out onto the river to see the sights!! It wasn’t too terribly expensive (about $22 for all four of us in our own boat) and an absolute blast!

La Spronka (Spanish for “The Spronk”) enjoying the ride….

The Hallands enjoying their ride

Shannon enjoying her ride

We saw a lot of birds and our guides even took us to a little island where we could walk around and the guide guy explained more about the river. His English wasn’t so hot unfortunately and he really had trouble with our North American accents (pure English you know!) but he was really nice and didn’t leave us there, so that was a plus.

We weaved in and out of fishermen who were fishing with lines and hooks – something not too common, usually I mostly see them fishing with nets

Ell and I had a great time throwing rocks into the water

That’s Lake Victoria and the River Nile right behind us. You couldn’t get much closer to where the Nile starts!

After the exhausting ride on our boat, we had to stop and get some refreshments before we started the long drive back home. Ella had the right idea as she had a Nile Special beer as she sat beside the Source of the Nile ;).

This is Ella with her beer giving her best “stroke smile,” the half a face smile thing. Yes, this was just staged for the picture and no, we did not give her any beer… J Wonder if beer would make her hair grow any faster tho?

So all in all, our attempts at being tourists were a huge success! The boat ride was really, really fun and something I will definitely be doing with my parents. I’m starting to get the touring thing down… Good thing I had help from Tanya and Shannon! Also, despite what Europeans think, Jinja is plenty close enough for a day trip from Entebbe.

Now after spending a previous four months living with Tanya in very close proximity, and now having lived with Ella for a month in even closer proximity, I have found some startling similarities between the two.

Similarities between Ella and Tanya:

love to shop
sweat a lot
like to use hankies (Tanya more for her sweat, Ella more for her snotty nose)
after a hot day sometimes have really stinky feet
are always “tidying up” and encouraging me to do so
are friendly and like people

Sunday morning Ella and I delivered our Albertans to the airport, which required three different trips. Shannon and Tanya both had different departing times (2 trips) and then I came home after delivering Tanya and discovered that I had her camera card still stuck in my computer (another trip). The dogs were thrilled to get a ride to the airport and Ella was more than happy to go there for the third time! The little fellers love to travel in the car J.

Ella was tired, sad and cranky so I decided that the last thing she needed was two hours of church, so we just stayed home so that she could be sad, sleep and hang on me every waking moment. The poor little tyke does so well during our adventures but all the stimulation and missed naps catches up with her later. SO AMAZING to think of all the new things she’s experienced in the last month! No wonder the poor little thing is tired! It was really encouraging though to see how she just “goes with the flow” and I can still have fun with my other single friends.

Monday she was still catching up on sleep and shedding her full quota of tears so we just stayed home in the morning. After her nap we went to the office on the boda for the first time. She’s almost as bad as Bridger as she fights to scramble up on the darned thing! She loves it! I put her on behind me and tie us together with a cloth wrap so she won’t slip off. I think it’s pretty safe – safer than riding in Bridger’s basket which I had her in at one point. Poor little Sanyu is going to feel pretty left out when I take Ella and Bridger anywhere on the boda and have to leave her. I really need a side car now!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 07:05:06 GMT

Wow, today is Ella’s one month anniversary of being home!! The time is really flying by! I am actually beginning to enjoy my leave as I now have more time for some fun and Ella is getting more and more fun to do things with. I really haven’t had a real vacation since December 2005 when I went to Botswana and South Africa so I’m going to try to enjoy this time as much as I can.

Ella and I had quite the busy weekend. Meyers came down and we camped in our backyard and we had a meat roast to celebrate Jacobs 4^th birthday, which was Monday. In addition to her kids, Lisa also brought the neighbor girl, Becky, and an adult friend, Jackie. Our favorite neighbors also joined us, along with their friend Sarah from Arua. So in all we had six adults, two big kids and four little ones.

Meat roasting on an open fire but jackfrost wasn’t exactly nipping at our noses…

Lisa brought some wire to roast our meat on and while we were digging our fire pit we hit a slab of concrete about 4 inches under. So now the compound has a proper fire pit with a grill and slab of concrete under it! Now we just need to be collecting more wood or I need to figure out how to use charcoal.

Jackie took charge of roasting the meat. Please note the horse socks that she’s using as an oven/roasting mitt. It’s all I had…

Partiers. Ella’s the little one standing on the mat wondering how she got there J

The little ones sitting on their mat waiting to eat. Rachael looks as if she’s a Muslim praying on her mat!

Beck and Samra testing the meat while Rachael looks on. You can see the tents in the background. For some reason I didn’t get a very good picture of the tent set up.

Ella and I um, didn’t actually sleep in a tent like people normally do when they’re camping. We actually were snug in our beds as I figured that it was more important for Ella to have a good night sleep. All the new stimulation does still really tire her out and a tired and cranky 3 year is not a fun thing, especially in the company of three other 3 year olds. She was still pretty stirred up and ended up falling out of bed both Saturday and Sunday nights!

Sanyu scrunched up on some pillows on the couch – Ella’s not the only one who gets worn out by all the new activities!

Sunday morning we all headed off to church. We were a bit late and the only seats available were of course smack dab in the front row. Pretty funny actually, as we squeezed in with all our kids. It really looks like we have a lot of them too because they are all the same size and have the same buzzed heads. Samra and Beck took the little ones to the nursery where Ella was allegedly running about, hitting, biting and disobeying. Maureen and Jake made several trips back into the service to check on their mom, marching right across the front of the church but the great thing about my church is that it totally didn’t matter. No one cared and it wasn’t that distracting. Not as distracting as the little boy that “hides” behind the tent behind the pastor and pees during the service! Ella had a little fit after the service and I had the pleasure of holding a large, 32 pound struggling and crying kid while still trying to be friendly and talk to people. I could tell at the beginning of the service, before she went with Beck to the nursery, that she was worn out, her panties were getting in a twist and she was getting ready to blow. And she did. But the nice thing about her is it only lasts about a half hour or so then she’s perfectly fine. She took a long nap that afternoon! And so did I… J

Monday we chilled during the morning and Ella made up for some lost time in the cuddling department. I was actually glad for it. After spending so much time with Meyer 3 year olds I am actually appreciating Ella’s babyness and lack of independence more. It’s rather nice to have her walk up with her arms out while I’m in the middle of something and say, “Mommy, I need a cuddle.” Then she totally wraps herself around you J. She’s much easer to control, too ;) Wasn’t whiny or pouty either. Monday afternoon after her nap we headed off to Kampala for Jakes birthday dinner. A couple gals who have volunteered at Sanyu for a long time also came so it was nice to see them before they left back for Australia and the UK. They actually did a lot of work with Ella, Jacob and the twins when they were babies. A lot of Jo’s reports are in Ella’s medical records. I am SO grateful to all the people who have invested in my little daughters life.

Tuesday we went to the office in the morning and I was able to get some real work done. Ella went out with Jarrod and played on the swings and slide for a while. That was so helpful! I peaked out the window once to see her standing on top of the slide while Jarrod was handing her a flower J. She was however driven in by the lake flies after a while, poor sensitive little thing… She got one in her eye and it turned all red!

After her nap in the afternoon she donned her swimsuit bottoms and we proceeded to wash our car and the dogs. My how that child loves the water! Most toddlers do not enjoy getting blasted in the face with a hose but this one just loves it. It makes her dance! When our work was done she changed into a pair of dry underwear and PLAYED OUTSIDE for almost 3 hours with the dogs, our neighbor, “Mr. Bob”, dog toys, rocks, a sardine can, chalk and a jar of coins that Mr. Bob gave her. I played a bit with her too but got some good reading time on my porch in my rocking chair as well. She still refuses to play with toys.

She is doing so well, running all over the compound but always checking in with me and OBEYING. She needs to work on obeying other adults too, especially since we live on a shared compound. I’m trying to teach her some rules, like you don’t try to steal Bob’s chair, stand next to him on his porch and yell “Mommy? Mommy? Mommy!” a million times when I am a mere 3 feet away on my porch, nor stand at his door after he’s gone inside and repeat, “Mr. Bob! Mr. Bob, Mr. Bob?” a zillion times so that you can give him some trash that you found. It’s all about social skills you know and not abusing our dear neighbor Bob! The two of them really are cute together though. They’re pals J!

At the babies home the kids really didn’t obey the volunteers and walked all over them so I’m trying to teach her that we do not treat our neighbors like we do volunteers at a babies home. She obeys me very well but I’ve seen her “playfully” disobey other adults a bit, like they’d do with the volunteers at the babies home. She was totally not obeying Samra and Beck Sunday so that needs to stop.

In celebration of Ella’s one month anniversary of being home, we get to pick up one of my dear pals at the airport today! My friend Tanya is coming from Juba to spend the weekend, along with another friend of hers who is coming from Canada. I’m so excited! Hopefully this time the silly thing won’t play hide and seek with me behind the pillars at the airport, like she did last time. Seriously, we stood waiting for each other for at least a half an hour, within 10 feet of each other on opposite sides of a big pillar! That’s just the way the two of us operate together. I think we both are fairly normal, functional people but get us together and you’d never know it J. I’ve really been craving Ethiopian food and there is no better person to eat it with than Tanya! Plus, it’s been EIGHT months since I saw her last and over a year since she last saw Ella. I’m sure there will be a very touching and tear jerking reunion between her and Spike, too. It’s been 10 months since she last saw Spike. Wish Pokes was still alive. Her and Tanya really had a connection. Everybody loved little Pokey. She was a little easier to get attached to than grumpy, moody ol’ Spike L. So Ella and I have another fun weekend ahead of us. Yahoo! Never knew maternity leave could be so fun… ;)

Friday, April 04, 2008

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 08:02:22 GMT

Phew, this was a busy week. Spent all day in Kampala Tuesday and Thursday, spent several hours at the office on Monday, went swimming with friends on Wednesday and today (Friday) have a play date planned for this afternoon after the L’s nap. Tomorrow (Saturday) Lisa and Co are coming down and we’re having a campout in our backyard and a bonfire and meat roast. Then of course Sunday is church. Fun activities or work helps the time go by faster J! Boy though, I have one tired little Ell, that’s for sure.

My trips to Kampala were to meet with our lawyer and to supply her with documents so that she can get a court date set for me to obtain Legal Guardianship of Ella. This is required by the U.S for me to bring Ella into the country before her adoption is complete. I really like our lawyer and so far this seems pretty straight forward. I’m so glad that I’m living in the country and, sadly, that Ella has no known living relatives. Living out of the country and the child having relatives really complicates things, even if the relatives want nothing to do with the child. Hopefully I will know today or tomorrow when our court date is – I’m praying that it’s this month. While we were in Kampala we ate lunch and spent the afternoon with Lisa and her kids. Ella played hard and is very tired today!

Our swimming on Wednesday was sure a fun success! We went with our neighbor, Kathryn, and the three girls who she is staying with while their parents are away. 13 year old twins and an 8 or 9 year old. Ella enjoyed being the center of attention and was almost swimming on her own with her floaties on! She liked jumping, splashing and getting thrown. Quite different from last Friday’s swimming fiasco! Sadly her swimsuit bottoms kept slipping down, exposing her little brown buns but fortunately there were many willing hands to help pull them up. Might need suspenders J. She had SO much fun and really enjoyed running around with the littlest girl hunting flies for the chameleon.

Ella gets pretty tired when she spends the day with her Meyer friends. Doesn’t last long in the car on the way home.

Going…

going….

Gone!!

Rachael, Ella and Jacob, playing in the wading pool

Ella simply loves to swim!

Ella eating a mango in the company of her dogs

L taking a bath. Anything that has to do with dogs or water makes her happy!

Milestones!

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 05:32:37 GMT

Amazing that Ella has been home three weeks now! She has come SO FAR – it is just incredible to see how quickly she is attaching and adjusting.

Thursday night ( the 27^th) Ella officially moved into her own room and bed! And she LOVES it!! Praise God! Thursday was a cold, rainy day with no power (which means no music or movies – movies I can live without but music? Hardly!) and the child was absolutely suffocating. Totally clingy and whiny and was acting worse than a border collie, following me everywhere and climbing onto my lap whenever I’d sit down. Now my house is very small – too small for such constant and extreme closeness! I knew something had to change when I found myself locking myself in my room while Ella ran around screaming. I locked us all inside the house so she wouldn’t disturb the neighbors, then locked myself in my room for ½ an hour to get some space. I explained to her what was going on (“Mommy is resting for a while” instead of “You are totally driving Mommy into a raving mad woman with your constant clinginess and she MUST get away before she pitches you over the wall into the Botanical Gardens for the monkeys to raise!”) and got a bit of “alone time”. She whimpered and banged on the door for a while but quieted down. When I came back out I found her curled up on the couch with Bridger, sucking her thumb J. This little experience led me to the conclusion that in order to be a good, patient, loving Mommy I needed some space. Like my own bed. I asked her if she’d like to sleep in her own room with her own bed with her own cowboy blanket that her Granny made her and being a very compliant child, she readily agreed. Talked about her “bedwoom” the rest of the day and happily went to sleep in it that evening! She loves it! And I love having my own bed back again, too J. She’s a bit of a wild sleeper and is always hot while I am always cold. Plus, she dreams and talks a bit in her sleep which doesn’t make for such a hot sleeping companion. I’m a bit of a thrasher myself and get up a million times a night so I’m sure I’m not the greatest sleeping companion either! Her napping has totally changed too – no crying AT ALL when she goes down and she stays in there for two hours, whether she’s sleeping or not, without screaming and crying. Amazing! Wish I would of done this two weeks ago… ;)

Ella in her American flag outfit that her Aunt Tee Tee sent her. Thanks Tiff!

Another milestone was Sunday the 30^th when I left her in the nursery for an hour while I enjoyed the sermon without her squirming little body attached to me. The week before I had sat in the nursery with her and she really liked it. This week I explained before hand that she could play in the nursery with Jonathan and Nathaniel (pastors sons who help out in there and can keep an eye on her) while I sat in the service and that I’d pick her up when it was finished. She appears to listen but I never know how much exactly computes. When it was time for all the children to head to Sunday School I took her along and left her in the tent with a little friend, Eryn, and the boys and left. I listened for a while for her shrieks and wails but never heard any. Anxious mother I am not. After an hour I figured she’d spent enough time in there and left early. She was waiting for me with her shoes on by the tent door and although she was really glad to see me, it didn’t look like she’d been crying or anything. What a blessing to be able to enjoy a sermon while at the same time Ella could enjoy playing with other kids and toys!

Ella in her Sunday dress that her Granny made her from Ghanaian material. Every time I tell her I want to take her picture she grabs a dog to pose with!

Ella is FINALLY starting to SMILE FOR PICTURES!!!

Ella has also started playing without me a tad bit more. She still will not play with her toys but has started “reading” her toddler Bible over and over by herself, and playing with and chasing the dogs all over without me. Poor little thing. She really is turning into a dog! I really don’t know how people raise children without dogs to help. Bridger and Sanyu totally crack her up when they run around and wrestle and Sanyu slams into Bridger and falls over, etc. Saturday she was chasing them around with a little comb, combing them while they wrestled on the grass. A good dog groomer never gives up!

Wrestling on the couch

Sisters J

The 28^th we went swimming in a real pool for the first time, with Meyers. As the following pictures depict, Ella loved all the prep – swimsuit, floaties and goggles - then her rotten mommy ruined and traumatized her by dunking her and FREAKING her out. Oops!! Lisa was able to calm her down and get her to sit in a little boat for quite a while. So much for swimming fostering attachment! That’s assuming that the mother doesn’t try drowning the poor child first…. Ella cried with her goggles on and well, they worked. Her goggles filled with tears!! Swimming teacher I will never be J.

All dressed up and ready to go!

What? My child, a dork?

Ella’s slender figure… ;)

“Where’s my martini?”

HAPPY, untraumatized swimmers – Maureen, Samra, Rachael and Jake

Ella drying off with her friend, Jake

Another milestone in the life of the young L was her very first boda ride J. She loved it!

Ella with her Auntie Lisa

A great tern of events has come about! I talked to my supervisor last Friday and he has some work that he still would like me to do, if and however I want to do it. Also, the guy that was sort of taking my place during my leave is heading back to Australia for a year with his wife which leaves me with an office room entirely to myself and the work and flexibility to start experimenting around with how much work I can actually do with a kid in tow and how much I’ll be able to do at home. I have LOTS of time when I’m home with Ella to do work on the computer, it’s just seeing what kind of work I can do at home. I was just thinking that the next two months are going to be exhausting and expensive with me thinking up things to do to keep us busy, then these recent turn of events! I really enjoy my work and was a feeling a bit left out so although I’m sad that the Aussie couple is leaving, I’m glad that I’ll be able to start back to work if I want to, taking Ella with me. And there’s no pressure!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 13:29:22 GMT

Finally! A proper post at last J. Although really, probably people appreciate pictures more than anything. I know I like pictures.

I can’t believe that we are on day # 20 already! It is crazy how quickly time is passing now that the first dreadful week is over. Boy was that ever a long week. Picture two people who have a pretty surface relationship plunked in a tiny house together. One person is tiny and has to rely on the bigger person for EVERYTHING while the bigger person is used to pretty much just looking after herself and not toting a little person around with her everywhere, like to the potty a zillion times in one day. The bigger person is used to waking up in the morning and heading off to work and interacting with other big people all day and the tiny person is used to waking up in the morning and interacting with other tiny people all day. Now they are adjusting to waking up in the morning and interacting with… only each other!! Hee hee, we were both pretty bored that first week – the only thing that saved us was Bridger and Sanyu. Ella got over her fear of them the second day, right when my back was about to give out from having to carry all 32 lbs of her whenever we were outside. Which we were a lot since my house is rather small.

This kid is adjusting AMAZINGLY WELL. I know that lots of people are praying for us and honestly I can see and feel God answering their prayers (and my own!) each and every day. I have read up on attachment and toddlers and was really prepared not for the “worst” but for the “normal” which is still pretty rough, and God is sparing BOTH of us from a lot of it. Why I don’t know but I sure am thankful!

I thought the biggest thing that Ella might struggle with would be indiscriminate friendliness. Not so at all I’m happy to report. She is friendly child and likes people but will not voluntarily climb onto a strangers lap, give them a hug, etc. although she will shake hands and give hugs when prompted. She spends a LOT (and I mean a LOT) of time on my lap and is just constantly “there” like my little shadow. This can get a bit annoying, especially since she will NOT play by herself when we’re home. She would rather just sit on my lap for hours while I read a book. My mom says that little L is making up for lost time from when she was an infant and was pretty much only held when she was being fed, crying or sick and I think she may just be right. The phrase I heard repeatedly at the babies home by various individuals that knew her was that “Ella Monica just needs a lot of one on one”. Well by golly she sure has got it now!! It makes me giggle to think of all the “one on one” time the little tyke has now. Ack!! The only time I’m away from her is when she’s down for a nap and right after she goes to bed. We share the same bed so even at night she’s right there breathing on me. Just remember that I am SINGLE and have lived ALONE for the last two years! So this is quite a change for me J.

A few facts about Ella:

She weighs 32 lbs (15 kgs)
Is 38 inches tall
Eats like a horse! This morning she ate three eggs and a cup of milk
After only two weeks her perpetually runny nose is clearing up! AMAZING! I hardly recognize her without clear snot running down from her nose into her mouth!
She managed to pee on her pillow the other night (now how many people can brag about that?)

She has regressed somewhat, in a healthy sort of way, according to my attachment books. Fortunately her potty training has not regressed at all and if I take her potty before I go to bed at night she’ll often times even make it through the night dry. Her talking has even progressed quite a bit and she communicates pretty darned well. She says “please,” “thank you” and “Your welcome” too!

I had read up on regression and thought that I was ready for it, when in fact I wasn’t as prepared for it as I thought. It’s funny the image of the little person that you unconsciously make up in your head about your children. My child was always tough and dirty and brave. Well, little Ella is just not up to fitting my image yet! She is acting very babyish and is NOT a rough and tumble type little girl (yet anyway, I keep telling myself). She can even wear the same clothes two days in a row because she doesn’t get dirty! This is mainly because she is ALWAYS on my lap whenever I sit down or about three feet from me when I’m doing anything else. MUCH closer when I’m on the toilet J. Why she thinks that’s cuddle time is beyond me! But that’s probably more info than anyone needs to know… ;) She is also a rather picky child and likes things in the proper place and things “tidied up”. Yup, and she lives with ME!! Poor kid, she’s gonna spend the next 15 years tidying up after me! She also really likes the dorky little girl things that my sister Becky has sent for her, like little headbands with jewels on them, hats and sunglasses. The sunglasses are a hoot. Fortunately Ella does REALLY like the dogs. And she’s a bit of a dork so I know that she really is my child J.

Nope, no doubt that she’s mine!

I dread the day Ella asks me why she doesn’t have a tail like the rest of the family… How will I break the news to her that we’re not all dogs?

Anyway, she has regressed in that she ALWAYS wants to be on my lap or being cuddled, wants help getting her pants on and off (which she totally did all by herself at the babies home), and would even prefer that I fed her (since she was one of the bigger kids at Sanyu, she would always feed herself there, too). Like an infant or small baby, she wants me to do EVERYTHING for her and would like to be carried for as long and far as my poor old back would permit. Poor kid to get a mommy with such a crappy back. While this gets REALLY old after 20 days (or um, well, 4 days) according to my attachment books it is a good sign – many toddlers do exactly the opposite and want to be totally independent, not relying on their parents for anything.

Oddly enough, from day 1 Ella started calling me “Mommy” and knew that she went with me. No doubts for her who she belonged to. I attribute this to our having known each other for so long and to her teachers at the Babies Home for prepping her for the transition. She seems to be figuring out what the role of a mommy is pretty quick. By day six we got it figured out that a mommy isn’t simply a live in slave, but someone whom you have to mind. With the knowledge that she didn’t need to continually try to control me (Yelling out orders such as “Mommy, give me my money”, “Mommy, the sandpit!” “Mommy, my car!” Etc) she quit being as anxious. I think it was relief for her to figure that I am the boss! Helps that I’m bigger J. She is a very compliant child anyway with a nature that wants to please. So different than me and my strong willed sisters!

Tuesday we went into Kampala. I had to get copies of all of her records from Sanyu and meet with a lawyer to start working on obtaining her Legal Guardianship. I didn’t want to take her back to Sanyu quite yet so left her at Lisa’s for about 2 hours in the morning when I went to Sanyu, then for about 2 or 3 hours in the afternoon when I went to talk to the lawyer. AND ELLA DID GREAT!! This is the first time I’ve left her anywhere with anyone and she didn’t even cry!! She trusted me enough that she knew I’d come back!! She wasn’t indifferent when I came back and was even extra affectionate (which is hard to imagine her being even more affectionate than she already is, but she was!) but NOT in a clingy, frightened sort of way. The second time I came back I found her happily playing and splashing with her friends, Jacob, Rachael and Maureen, in their little pool having fun and she didn’t even jump out immediately.

She sleeps amazingly well at night. Goes down at 7pm and sleeps until 7am. Goes down without a problem, which is nice. Nap time is a totally different story. Yesterday (26^th) was the FIRST time she’s gone down for a nap without either screaming a half to a whole hour first or in the middle of it. Then she slept for THREE HOURS! She gets SO tired but really just fights sleeping in the afternoon. Cries inconsolably and even says “Mommy, I’m TIRED!” Um, well, hence the need for a NAP? I was wondering if her napping problems were because when we were at Sanyu I would help feed the kids, clean them up, put them down for their naps and then leave. So perhaps somewhere in her little head she was wondering if I’d be there when she woke up from a nap. Perhaps her good nap on Wednesday was partly due to me leaving her with Lisa and coming back the day before. Don’t know! It’s so hard to tell sometimes whether she is just being “naughty” and testing boundaries or if she truly is scared or sad about things. Makes discipline kinda tricky. Pray that I’d have the wisdom, patience and discernment to know! I get really frustrated with her inconsolable crying/screaming sometimes, especially since I live in a compound full of other people and the sound carries really well. I’m afraid the softer hearted neighbors think I’m trying to kill her while the harder hearted neighbors think she’s being a brat. Neither is true, she just needs to cry sometimes! Er, a lot of times!

Sleeping tot J

I’m slowly regaining my appetite and not being so weepy all the time. Gosh, talk about an emotional last few weeks! It is SUCH a relief to have my baby here in my home where she’s safe, WARM and CLEAN. All those cold, rainy nights I sat down here in Entebbe thinking about her in that concrete building without windows, or her wiping up other childrens pee with a dirty towel, or running around with 40 other toddlers unsupervised on the weekends, and I am just SO GLAD THAT IT’S OVER! I will NEVER do that again. Praise God she’s home!